最近兒子進入了傳說中最可愛的鸚鵡學語期，每天都有新的進步，不像傳說中的Terrible Two，反而更像是Wonderful Two，甚至Amazing Two，語言能力和邏輯思考都令人驚艷。時間像沙在手中握不住地流逝，不知不覺孩子就瞬間又長大了許多，看著他的可愛模樣，總是感嘆時間快得令人心痛，但除了把握當下，似乎也沒有其他更好的辦法。感謝的是，最近手邊剛好沒有翻譯的案子要趕，得以24小時全天候與他相處、見證他的成長，他似乎也對媽媽的用心陪伴有所感受，這兩天睡前故事都指定非要媽媽讀不可（媽媽已累翻，連續三天九點躺平）。
今天下午和劉姊妹與她的三個孩子一起去了自來水樂園，哥哥姊姊們（十二歲、十歲、四歲）一看到麥可來了就熱情地拖著他（沒有誇張，真的是用「拖」的）去玩水上溜滑梯，麥可第一次見識到這種群魔亂舞的大場面，一開始只想在淺水區玩玩岸邊的微弱小噴水柱，但不久就被熱情的哥哥姊姊們連拖帶拉地拉上去溜滑梯了，原本有些擔心他會嚇哭，但是他從頭到尾都玩得無比盡興，完全不用媽媽擔心（離開新加坡也一個半月了，是這次回台灣後第一次下水），連一旁路人也驚奇他這麼小就深黯水性。晚餐吃了台大對面的老店鳳城燒臘和台一紅豆湯圓，甫戲水完大家都飢腸轆轆，而麥可的吃相和食量又再度驚豔四座。
晚上回想一天經歷，突然有股莫名悵然。想起今天在池裡，兒子說了好幾次：「媽媽游泳、媽媽游泳！」那時，我彎著腰牽著他的手，因為水深僅及膝，加上覺得水冷，就沒蹲下來跟著他一起「游」；後來他再次邀請，我正在岸邊忙著幫大家拍照、幫他錄影，只得再次令他失望。現在想起，那時的行為實在太愚昧，浪費了珍貴的大好機會。
最近讀完Leonard Sax的Boy Adrift後開始讀Girls on the Edge，書裡令我印象深刻的是Dr. Sax提到許多女孩work hard but "don't know how to have fun"。仔細回想，自己確實有這種傾向，似乎總是放不開，例如在派對裡只擅長扮演辦活動的角色，學路加福音的馬大一樣忙進忙出，而沒有真正單純地享受、與人交際。在泳池裡，也總因為怕冷、不想弄濕頭髮（懶得洗頭吹頭髮...）或喝到池水，而鮮少玩得盡興。也正因如此，總是在活動結束後，才因為當初的有所保留而感到悵然若失，覺得Why did I miss the fun even though I was physically there?
「媽媽游泳、媽媽游泳！」孩子一聲聲真誠的呼喚，喚醒了媽媽渴望live more fully的內心。當媽以後，不免偶爾感嘆礙於目前角色無法去做某些事情，比如壯遊、冒險（其實不怕麻煩的話還是可以去做...）可笑的是，以前未有孩子時，也根本沒想過要做那些事情；再者，現在的自己連在水深及膝的池裡痛快地玩一場都做不到，更遑論甚麼冒險犯難了。
作為父母的一大祝福，是自己總會從孩子身上，看到自己言行舉止帶來的後果。孩子總會提醒我怎麼變得更好，活在當下、活得「更像個人」；即使當下自己沒反應過來，事後也會在心裡發酵。孩子幫助我更常自省，更渴望變得更好，也更有動力去調整生活的步伐。有了孩子之後，我越來越打從心底相信，每個孩子來到世上，都可以為父母（或主要照顧者）帶來救贖與重生，前提是我們必須願意為了他去學習、去改變，即使那意味著我們需要犧牲眼前的享樂，或忍受短暫（也許長達數年）的不便。只要我們願意去做，就能體會到世上最純粹的愛與幸福。
如馬太福音所述，「因為凡想要保全自己生命的，將失去生命；凡為我的緣故失去自己生命的，將尋得生命。」兒女是耶和華所賜的產業（詩篇127:3），親職是神聖的職責，若你感覺自己正為善盡此職責而失去自我，這表示你正在找到真實自我的路上，值得慶賀。The days are long, but the years are short - enjoy it when you can!
Showing posts with label Mormon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mormon. Show all posts
Friday, July 14, 2017
Friday, March 25, 2016
A Tender Mercy of God - My Street Performance Debut in SG
Once in a while, I feel lonely and depressed for no good reason. I know there are many things which I should be grateful for, and there are things I ought to do. But I still feel this way from time to time. Today was one of those days. Maybe it has something to do with the teething baby who woke up from his nap fussing. Maybe it has something to do with the husband being away traveling 6 days a week recently. Maybe it's the homework which I have been trying to avoid to do. I just don't know.
I decided to get out of the house, not sure where I (we) were heading to. "Maybe we should go get some groceries? No, that's just lame." I decided to go to the Clarke Quay Central mall. 200m after we left home, I realized there was dried baby food on my glasses. "Oh. This is just great."
To be honest, Clarke Quay Central is not even a good mall. We walked around, but nothing made me want to shop (except for the custard puff from Beard Papa). I had salmon salad for dinner, thinking at least I did something good for my body today. Then I got a custard puff which balanced out the healthiness of the salad.
It was 5:40pm, almost dinner time for the baby. "Well, we should probably head home." At first, I was going to take the main exit, which would lead us to the main street. But then I changed my mind and took the side exit, which led us to the riverside. There was a gentleman in his 50s singing with his guitar, and his wife was standing behind him as his assistant. (Based on his accent, I am guessing he's probably from HK.) I always support street performers with some donation (mostly because I used to perform at a café myself). I took Michael out from the stroller, and we sat by the river to listen to the performance.
The man was singing "Country Road, Take Me Home", which made me want to cry. "I miss home. But I Am home. This is my home. I don't know. Sometimes I just feel homeless." He finished the song, but not many people were applauding even though the performance was pretty good. I decided that we moved to the staircase in front of the singer to listen more carefully and to show our support. As he was singing the next song, "Love, Me", I thought, "it would be nice if he could sing 'Here Comes The Sun' - or just anything from the Beatles." Then the next song he sang was "Imagine". "Oh, how nice! Thank you, Heavenly Father. This is good enough." I thought.
After the song, the singer smiled and waved at us. He asked where we came from. "Taiwan." (Now that I think about it, I wonder why he knew I wasn't from Singapore. I was wearing my workout outfit, Georgetown Basketball T-shirt and the navy shorts which I sleep in. Didn't I look local?) "Taiwan. Then we should sing 'The Moon Represents My Hearts'. How about you come here and sing with me? My wife can hold your baby." Even though I dressed like I was on my way to do my laundry or take out the trash, somehow I did not hesitate and joined him. Maybe I was just too desperate. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the live performance from Taiwan." he declared. To my surprise, Michael was totally cool with being held by the lady he met for the first time. I wish I saw his face when I was singing, but I was too focused on our performance. It was a song I have performed many times on stage, so I know it very well.
"Thank you, that was really fun." I told the singer. His wife seemed very happy to get to hold the baby. "He is very dense!" Ha ha. Everyone says so. We left for home for Michael's dinner. "Wow. That was a special experience. How a special day. Thank you for letting me feel so special, Heavenly Father." It was funny how I was hoping to hear a song about the sun while it turned out that I got to sing a song about the moon. It was truly a tender mercy from God. He made my day by letting me know that I matter to him and I am not unnoticed.
I decided to get out of the house, not sure where I (we) were heading to. "Maybe we should go get some groceries? No, that's just lame." I decided to go to the Clarke Quay Central mall. 200m after we left home, I realized there was dried baby food on my glasses. "Oh. This is just great."
To be honest, Clarke Quay Central is not even a good mall. We walked around, but nothing made me want to shop (except for the custard puff from Beard Papa). I had salmon salad for dinner, thinking at least I did something good for my body today. Then I got a custard puff which balanced out the healthiness of the salad.
It was 5:40pm, almost dinner time for the baby. "Well, we should probably head home." At first, I was going to take the main exit, which would lead us to the main street. But then I changed my mind and took the side exit, which led us to the riverside. There was a gentleman in his 50s singing with his guitar, and his wife was standing behind him as his assistant. (Based on his accent, I am guessing he's probably from HK.) I always support street performers with some donation (mostly because I used to perform at a café myself). I took Michael out from the stroller, and we sat by the river to listen to the performance.
The man was singing "Country Road, Take Me Home", which made me want to cry. "I miss home. But I Am home. This is my home. I don't know. Sometimes I just feel homeless." He finished the song, but not many people were applauding even though the performance was pretty good. I decided that we moved to the staircase in front of the singer to listen more carefully and to show our support. As he was singing the next song, "Love, Me", I thought, "it would be nice if he could sing 'Here Comes The Sun' - or just anything from the Beatles." Then the next song he sang was "Imagine". "Oh, how nice! Thank you, Heavenly Father. This is good enough." I thought.
After the song, the singer smiled and waved at us. He asked where we came from. "Taiwan." (Now that I think about it, I wonder why he knew I wasn't from Singapore. I was wearing my workout outfit, Georgetown Basketball T-shirt and the navy shorts which I sleep in. Didn't I look local?) "Taiwan. Then we should sing 'The Moon Represents My Hearts'. How about you come here and sing with me? My wife can hold your baby." Even though I dressed like I was on my way to do my laundry or take out the trash, somehow I did not hesitate and joined him. Maybe I was just too desperate. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the live performance from Taiwan." he declared. To my surprise, Michael was totally cool with being held by the lady he met for the first time. I wish I saw his face when I was singing, but I was too focused on our performance. It was a song I have performed many times on stage, so I know it very well.
"Thank you, that was really fun." I told the singer. His wife seemed very happy to get to hold the baby. "He is very dense!" Ha ha. Everyone says so. We left for home for Michael's dinner. "Wow. That was a special experience. How a special day. Thank you for letting me feel so special, Heavenly Father." It was funny how I was hoping to hear a song about the sun while it turned out that I got to sing a song about the moon. It was truly a tender mercy from God. He made my day by letting me know that I matter to him and I am not unnoticed.
Tuesday, October 07, 2014
I am a child of God
可能是有史以來聽過最美的版本
唱過無數次的一首歌
沒想到可以唱得如此美麗
是一種 令人覺得快要窒息的美麗
記得在傳教的時候
常常在第一次上課時和教導的對象一起唱這首歌
有幾次歌都還沒唱完
對方的眼淚就已經在眼眶裡打轉了
那是感動的眼淚
是感覺到自己被愛的眼淚
是更加認識自己寶貴價值的眼淚
神認識我們每一個人
我們都是兄弟姊妹 都是祂寶貴的孩子
祂愛我們 也關心我們
祂希望我們快樂 希望我們都能變得更好 更像祂
有一天能回到天家與祂團聚
這個簡單的真理
是我們信仰的基石與核心
我們所說 所做 所追求的一切 皆是因為這個信念而來
當你感覺孤獨 迷失 困惑 傷心時
請記得 你是神的孩子
祂決不會拋下你 也不會放棄你
跟隨祂的腳步 你就會看見希望和光明 就能找到平安和幸福
--
1 我是神的孩子，
祂差我來此地，
賜我一個世上家庭，
有親愛的雙親。
2 我是神的孩子，
應學習許多事，
助我明白祂的教訓，
不至為時太遲。
3 我是神的孩子，
有祝福等待我，
若我照祂旨意而行，
能再與祂同住。
領我，導我，與我同在，
助我行正路。
教我所有應做事，
他日與神同住。
1. I am a child of God,
And he has sent me here,
Has given me an earthly home
With parents kind and dear.
2. I am a child of God,
And so my needs are great;
Help me to understand his words
Before it grows too late.
3. I am a child of God.
Rich blessings are in store;
If I but learn to do his will,
I'll live with him once more.
4. I am a child of God.
His promises are sure;
Celestial glory shall be mine
If I can but endure.
Chorus
Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday.
Words: Naomi Ward Randall, 1908-2001. (c) 1957 IRI. Fourth verse (c) 1978 IRI
Music: Mildred Tanner Pettit, 1895-1977. (c) 1957 IRI. Arr. by Darwin Wolford, b. 1936. Arr. (c) 1989 IRI
https://www.lds.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/i-am-a-child-of-god?lang=eng
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